


Trust

by Halfling



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-07-23
Updated: 2011-07-25
Packaged: 2017-10-21 16:42:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/227355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Halfling/pseuds/Halfling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erik doesn't kill Shaw at the beach, this is what happens after.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. That Night

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fanfic I've written in literally 4 years, so I apologize if I'm out of practice! It will eventually be Erik/Charles, bare with me while I make them angst like good little puppets?

_Why?_

Erik was laying on a cool wooden floor, the Reichsmark he had planned to kill Shaw with danced lazily between the fingers of one hand.

 _I've killed him thousands of times in my dreams, how could one man turn me from that after all these years?_

It was him, of course. Charles. The one who had come into his life, seen all that he had done in his quest to kill Shaw, and somehow turned him from that path in only a few short weeks.

 _Ich hatte ihn!_

He wasn't bitter, he found, or even regretful. No, this frustration was something else. After all, Shaw was only two floors below, bound in a basement prison made especially for him weeks prior by Charles and Hank. He could go down there and kill him now if he wanted. The stasis Charles had put him under would surely inhibit Shaw's powers from absorbing everything Erik could throw at him. Maybe.

But he didn't want to do it, not to his core. He had wanted to yesterday. Had planned on it in fact, Charles' protests be dammed. But in that moment, when he could have taken the revenge he'd yearned for so many years, there was Charles. Pleading in his mind. Reaching out with his whole self to tell Erik that killing him would bring him no peace, would bring him only more guilt, would not honor his mother the way she deserved.

 _Alles ist gut._

His mother's last words echoed in his head for the first time in years. He had forgotten her face, forgotten her love, and her life, until Charles. It was her death that had fueled him, the image of her body lying at the feet of his child self. And Shaw, holding the gun that took her from him. But now, he remembered her as she was. He replayed in his mind the memory Charles had returned to him.

 _Between rage and serenity._

He was there now, as he was before. The emotions he'd felt poured into his mind like a vortex of fire and ice, they mixed and thrashed until all that remained was absolution. It felt like cool metal in his mind.

The coin finally settled back in his pocket, and Erik slept.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------

 

Charles could sense Erik was deep in thought, but he resisted the urge to pry. They had both seen a very trying day, and Erik had done what Charles had honestly felt impossible for him: let Shaw live. If that hadn't earned Charles' trust, nothing would. So he let Erik ponder in private and meanwhile sank deeper into his own thoughts.

He wasn't usually one to procrastinate or put off his problems; multitasking had always been a forte of his. But he realized that before today he hadn't really considered what to do with Shaw now that he had him. Sure, he'd helped Hank configure the cell in the basement. They had designed it specifically to contain Shaw's abilities by absorbing energy in the same way he did, which even by their standards was a little genius, he felt. But if he was being honest with himself, he'd never really expected to use it.

Erik had become one of his closest friends so quickly, it was almost frightening. From that moment in the water, when they'd first touched minds, Charles had seen all that Erik had done, and would do, to hunt Shaw down. He felt then that stopping Erik was never an option, that he could only delay the inevitable. Not that he wouldn't try his hardest regardless. But now?

He had really got to Erik. Not just with Shaw, either. When the humans had turned their guns on the beach, and Erik held their munitions with his hand, Charles could sense Erik's desire to turn them back on the ships that had sent them. He would have said anything to stop him, to save those humans who were only acting out of fear, and who could blame them? He had been afraid of Erik too. But when Erik exploded them harmlessly over the water, it wasn't because he cared about the humans, or because of anything Charles had said. It was deeper than that, and Charles was only beginning to understand.

Above him, he could sense Erik was finally falling asleep. "Goodnight, my friend," he whispered to the ceiling, "And pleasant dreams."

That night, Charles dreamed of sharks.


	2. The Next Morning

The next morning, Charles woke to sun stabbing his eyes. He swore he'd shut the drapes the night before, but he supposed he'd been very tired and more than a little distracted. No matter, though, he'd told the others the night before to meet for breakfast at 7:30 and it was almost 7 now. He was the first to reach the kitchen and he busied himself making eggs and coffee while he waited for the others. Erik was the next one to arrive, Charles didn't have to read his mind to tell something was bothering him, but before he could ask what was wrong, Raven bounded in. "Good morning, boys!" She kissed Charles on the cheek and joined Erik at the table.

She was far too eager for this early in the morning, and Erik informed her of such in fewer and less kind words. She through a questioning look at Charles, who shook his head. He didn't know who spit in his corn flakes either. Raven stepped to the cabinets to set the table, and after setting a place in front of Erik, he stepped up to help. By the time they had a plate of eggs and mug of coffee for everyone on the table, the others had arrived, all in various states of dress and awareness. They sat around the table, all eating and drinking and looking expectantly at Charles. Well, all but Erik, who was staring at his mug as if daring it to move.

"I apologize for the early hour, I know many of you aren't used to being up before lunch." He gave knowing smiles to Raven and Sean. "But I'm glad you're here. I suppose I wanted to start out by thanking you all. We did good work yesterday, exactly what I've been hoping to do since we all came together in the first place. You've all shown great strength and I'm proud of every one of you. You've proved that we are a force of good and even if the rest of the world is hesitant to admit it, we can help them in a big way." Charles saw Erik roll his eyes but the others were smiling.

"But, in order to keep helping in the way I know we're all capable, we need to improve. That means keeping up with your training. I don't want any of you slacking off just because we have a success under our belt." There was a collective groan from around the table.

"Though I do believe you've all earned a break for today." There were cheers, loudest from Raven.

"So finish your food, then go sleep or whatever it is you do for fun, just don't get into trouble, please, and no going in the basement, fair enough?" Everyone cheered again and Charles sat down to eat for himself. _I could get used to this_ , he thought, looking around at his students. _My students._ Who would've thought?

\-------------------------------------------------------------

Erik awoke suddenly from a nightmare. It was a common enough occurrence, he'd been plagued by bad dreams as long as he could remember. Usually they involved his mother's death, or his torture at the hands of Shaw. This one had been different, though. The memory of it was fading fast, but he knew it involved the ocean, and someone drowning in it. _Was I trying to save them, or was I the one drowning them?_

It was still dark, and he couldn't see what time it was from where he was lying on the floor. With stiff muscles, he rose, and pulled the little metal alarm clock from where it had sat on the bedside table to him with the movement of on finger. It was 6:15, and the sun was only a hint of pinkish glow on the horizon. He absently sent the clock back to its place as he pulled clean clothes from the one drawer that housed his entire wardrobe. Charles had offered to buy him more, but Erik refused. He was already painfully aware of how much he relied on Charles anymore, and he didn't like being in debt to anyone. Even to someone like Charles.

He briefly debated about putting on the grey sweats that they all wore while training, but decided against it. If Charles wanted to do more training today, he could do it without Erik.

By the time he was showered and dressed, the rest of the house was still quiet. He walked down the stairs and before he could decide where he was going, he found himself standing outside Charles' door. He put a hand on the door handle and felt for the metal tumbler. The door was unlocked. _Typical Charles, always so trusting_. He opened the door, careful to mentally keep the hinges from squeaking. He walked over and opened the drapes so he could see in the dim twilight. Charles was curled up in bed, a look a quiet concern across his sleeping face.

Still without any conscious purpose, he went over to Charles' desk and unlocked the drawer that held all the technical specs for his and Hank's creations. There were the schematics for Cerebro, and the designs for each house member's personal suit. There was a thick file dedicated to the Blackbird jet, and under that was what Erik realized he was looking for.

It was a floor plan of the estate's basement, with a detailed blueprint of the cell where Shaw was currently contained. There were other minor cells too, which Erik could see had been labeled on the map in Charles' neat handwriting with the names of Shaw's companions. Behind him, Charles stirred in his sleep. Erik quickly put everything back and fled the room just as the sun was beginning to peak in. He stood outside the door for a moment, listening to Charles wake up. Then he walked back upstairs to retrieve the Reichsmark he'd just remembered he'd left in the pocket of yesterday's clothes.

When he returned to the first floor and went to the kitchen he found Charles already there making breakfast. He sat at the table, and was tempted to say something, perhaps to ask Charles about what he planned on doing with Shaw now that they had him, but Raven entered loudly, interrupting his thoughts. "Quieter would be better," he growled at her. He realized after he said it that it was ruder than he intended but it was too late to take back. He helped her set tables as a silent apology, then waited patiently for the speech he knew Charles would not be able to resist giving. It ended, of course, with more talk of helping the humans. Like they deserved it, even after trying to kill them all. _He will never understand._


	3. The Marble Door

After everyone finished breakfast and skipped off to their own activities it was just Charles and Erik left in the kitchen. There was a lot Charles wanted to ask Erik, but after they sat in silence for a while, he settled on: "How are you this morning?"

Erik stood up and began placing the abandoned dishes in the sink, stopping up one side and filling it with warm soapy water. He grabbed the dishes in front of Charles last, looking him in the eye as he did so. "There is a man with the power to kill us all in the basement," he said.

Of all the things Charles had expected him to say, that wasn't exactly one of them. "Yes, but he's contained. He can't kill us quite right now."

Erik turned his back on Charles and began washing the dishes one at a time. Charles had to actively restrain himself from looking into Erik's thoughts. As if sensing this, Erik spoke again: "You don't need to read my mind, Charles, just ask."

Charles grabbed a towel and began to dry the dishes as Erik finished washing them. "What is on your mind, my friend?"

"I spent most of my life hunting Shaw with every intention of killing him. Yesterday, I didn't kill him." Erik's voice was calm, which Charles knew meant this was something Erik was fiercely angry about. "I do not know what you plan on doing with him, but I will not stand by and watch you do nothing. You only know a fraction of the things he has done." The fork Erik handed to Charles to dry was quivering so badly Charles had to fight to hold on to it.

"I won't hide anything from you, Erik. I promise." The fork became still again. They finished the rest of the dishes in silence.

"I will hold you to that." With that, Erik left. Charles felt for him and the others out of habit. Hank and Raven were in the lab, debating something. Sean and Alex were goofing off outside. Erik was heading to the library room, where he often went when he wanted to be alone. Charles decided to use Cerebro for a while. A list of mutants to track down would be the perfect excuse to get he and Erik both out of the house and away from the Shaw dilemma for a while. He had a feeling it would do them both good.

Cerebro worked fast. Charles could feel his reach for mutants expand instantly, and within minutes had a working list of mutants for he and Erik to track down, and hopefully offer a place in the school. _Is this really a school now?_

Pulling himself back in, Charles saw his housemates, his students. And one, who wasn't his student. Erik, who alone he considered an equal. Who was currently at the bottom of the basement stairs, an inch from the one place Charles didn't want him to be.

\-------------------------------------------------------------

Erik liked the library. It was always quiet, whereas most of the rest of the house wasn't. When you spend most of your life alone, the noise of other people takes a lot of getting used to. He had half a mind to sit down a read something, but his mind was too busy to allow it. He settled instead for flipping through Charles' thesis, not really reading, but just looking at the pages. Somewhere to his right, he felt, more than heard, as a generator kicked on. Charles was using Cerebro. Without giving it a second thought, Erik abandoned the library and headed for the basement.

The initial basement door was locked with a simple deadbolt. It took almost no effort for Erik to get past it. The next door, at the bottom of the stairs was solid marble. It wouldn't budge. Erik felt for metal, hoping to find a lock of some kind he could just force open magnetically, but there was nothing, not even hinges. _Like it was made for me._ It wasn't, of course. He could tell from the matching walls around the staircase that it was original to the house, but the fact that he couldn't open the door unnerved him just the same. "Erik?"

Erik froze, Charles was at the top of the stairs. _Scheiße!_

"I was just in Cerebro, I have the coordinates of several mutants I think we should pay a visit to, if you're willing to come with me." Erik couldn't tell if Charles was angry or surprised or had any emotion at all in response to finding Erik in the basement. He found an unemotional Charles even was even more unnerving than an unopenable door.

"Are you sure now is a good time to bring more people into this house?" Erik asked, placing a hand on the marble door as if to add, "While Shaw is here?"

Charles descended the stairs slowly until he was standing next to Erik. He put his hand over Erik's on the door and looked him in the eye. "Do you trust me, Erik?"

"You dare to ask me that? You have never trusted me." Charles removed his hand, and looked hurt.

"I have never read your mind without permission."

"You know that is not what I meant." Charles sighed and crossed him arms, staring at the floor between them. It struck Erik suddenly how small he looked when he stood like that.

"You're right. And I'm sorry. I truly am. When you can look inside people, see their deepest secrets, you don't have to trust them. So you'll understand why it doesn't come easy for me. But Erik, I'm trying. For your sake, I'm trying." Charles reached out and placed a gentle hand on Erik's shoulder. "Will you try to trust me too?"

Erik took his hand off the marble door and Charles visibly relaxed. "I would have left ages ago, Charles. If I didn't trust you."

"I know."

\-------------------------------------------------------------

They stood there a moment longer, at the foot of the stairs. Then Erik turned and headed back up. Charles followed, not bothering to lock the door at the top of the stairs. Erik headed to his room to pack. Charles headed to inform the others that the two of them would be leaving to recruit more mutants. He left Raven in charge, warning Hank to keep her in check or else. Sean and Alex looked a little too excited at the prospect of being unsupervised for a few days, but sobered up when Charles promised to sic Erik on them if anything was out of the ordinary when they got back. Once he was satisfied all was well, he too headed to his room to pack.


	4. For want of a Brochure

Erik insisted on driving. He'd been in a car before with Charles behind the wheel and it wasn't an experience he'd like to repeat. As focused as he was when it came to basically any other task, Charles was surprisingly absent-minded when it came to the road, which is particularly distressing for someone who can intimately sense exactly how many tons of metal are rushing past at breakneck speeds. Charles attempted to navigate, but Erik had the better sense of direction so he quickly gave up on that. They talked to pass the time instead.

"Here's how we can pitch it: Call it Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters. Tell the parents it's a prep school. I have a doctorate, so we'll have some credibility, and we can surely pass you off as a professor of foreign languages or something like that. Raven could be the secretary, and-"

"Charles." Erik interrupted, "Do we really need to convince them of anything? I thought you could just, you know." He raised two fingers to the side of his head to mimic Charles using his power.

"Well, yes, but that would be an abuse of power. I don't want the first impression these kids have of us to be manipulating their parents for our own purposes."

"But isn't that what we're doing by lying to them about this school?"

"The school is not a lie!" Charles looked offended. "I'm serious about this, I want to turn the mansion into a school for mutants. They need guidance, training, and more importantly, a safe haven in a world where humans are allowing their own fears to get the better of them." Erik was silent for a moment. It was the first time Charles had addressed the incident on the beach with the humans trying to destroy them, even if it was indirect.

"I know, Charles, I know. We're on the same side, here." Charles buried his head in his hands and sighed.

"I'm sorry, my friend. I didn't mean to, I just- We have to do this. For our good as well as the good of everyone else."

Erik nodded in agreement. "So. We're really calling them _gifted youngsters_?" Charles laughed.

"Yes! What's wrong with that?"

"Oh, nothing. _Gifted Youngsters_." They both cracked up.

\-------------------------------------------------------------

The first attempted recruitment was nothing short of a disaster. Charles pitched the school as best he could, but they had no documentation to convince the parents of the school's legitimacy, and when he tried to psychically explain who they really were to the young mutant, the boy flat out denied he had any mutation at all and refused to talk to them or hear another word. Back in the car, Erik was resisting the urge to say "I told you so," the "so" being "I told you no mutant with the ability to change the chemical composition of their flatulence is going to want to embrace that."

"We need brochures. You know, pamphlets. We can put a big picture of the mansion on the front, and some stats about student-to-teacher ratios on the inside. Oh, and we could have the guys we already have do current student testimonials, and have one panel show off our training facilities, make it look like a proper campus with smiling faces and books!"

"Mmhm." Erik wasn't really listening. "Does this mean we're going back to the mansion or do you want to try and find the next mutant?"

" _Student_ ," Charles corrected. "And fine, don't get excited." Erik rolled his eyes but couldn't resist a grin; Charles' glee could be quite infectious when he was worked up about something. "I suppose we should head back, though. Clearly this recruitment thing requires a little more planning. It's a shame, I was looking forward to getting out of the house for a few days and we've only been gone-" he checked his watch, "Oh, it's high time we ate, is there a restaurant around here?"

"I think we just passed one, hang on." He turned the car around and pulled into a small but bright little burgers and shakes joint.

The inside was decorated with tacky memorabilia from the past decade, and their waitress looked like she hadn't slept in weeks, but the food was good. After they finished, Charles convinced the manager to let him use the phone to call Raven and tell her they were coming home a little earlier than expected. Erik was counting out money for the tip when Charles returned, ashen-faced. "We have to get back there, now," was all he said.

As soon as they had the car started and were back on the road, Charles explained: "That was Moira. We still have Shaw, but his friends have escaped. Raven and the others have gone after them."

"Moira is at the mansion?"

"I told her to keep an eye on us in case we needed the CIA's help in the future, when she heard half of the estate had been destroyed, she went there looking for me."

"You still trust the CIA after what happened? Why are you so eager to put faith in humanity after how they've treated us?"

"This wasn't their fault, Erik. It was ours. Those mutants out there are our responsibility and I will not say "no" to anyone who wants to help us."

Erik pushed the gas harder and they drove back in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the mutant with fart-powers. I really do.


End file.
